We all said it at the bottom of the last week of the last month of last year, “2018 is the year of improvement…” Those might not’ve been your exact words, perhaps I’m paraphrasing. Perhaps I’m putting words in your mouth – but surely that’s what you should’ve said.
Perhaps the spark of 2018 is a shade dimmer than it once was, but you have an upcoming opportunity to polish it up. Valentine’s Day. How about we do something a little different this year?
Forget about the chocolate and flowers. Forget about the fancy dinner (or… maybe let’s not forget about that). We’d like to help you stretch your gift muscle a bit by giving you five good reasons to consider our PU55Y Oil as a staple in your secret bag of Valentine’s Day wonders. While you’re considering the reasons below, imagine the awe and amusement you’re about to create.
Reason #1: Insurance towards getting what you want
How many of you out there ever got a Valentine’s Day gift from your boo and was not just disappointed but down right insulted? Raise your hand.
We don’t always want to admit it, but though we like to feel we’re above such trivialities as a commercial holiday of love, we still feel the effects of obvious acts of disingenuousness. If that ugly monkey should find its way to your door this year, you’re protected (a little).
Reason #2: Giving to those in need
Not all of us have found the person of our dreams and like most of us, you probably have one or two (or three or four) girl-friends who have no one. PU55Y Oil is PERFECT for your trash talking, no-companion having girls. It’s also useful for the recently divorced ladies who need a quick empowerment pick-me-up. You would absolutely be the superhero here.
Reason #3: It’s A Win-Win (WIN) Gift
Though our product was created for one, we’ve gotten plenty of feedback informing us about the satisfaction of two. [Insert imagination here.]
Reason #4: We’re different
Our PU55Y Oil would not be just a trinket or package of processed sugar and fat. It would be an event. Present this to your honey and they will know something exciting is about to happen. You’ve planned something juicy. You’re about to be a bad girl… or a really good one.
Reason #5: We’re out of the box
Do you remember those crazy scary jack-in-the-boxes where you cranked the handle while it played the foreshadowing song of “Pop Goes the Weasel?” Well, our oil is kind of like the jack-in-the-box, but without the crazy and without the scary and with a lot of passion and confidence added. We’d like you to give a surprise that is both startling, but also adventurous and delightful. Chocolate for Valentine’s Day is so 19th century.
We’re hoping this year you’ll truly make V-Day your “V” day and keep a bottle of PU55Y Oil nearby using it as needed like an invisible lasso. Why not? This year you will be Wonder Woman. You’re already Wonder-Ful Woman!