Valentine’s Day For Singles: An Episode of Self Love

In honor of Vee Day, I’m dedicating this to the wonderful women out there who are currently single (…all my single ladies!  All my single ladies…).   

My recommendation is to embrace Valentine’s Day with an open heart – even if single.   No, especially, if single.  That is, unless you’re taking some hard stance against the materialistic nature surrounding the little holiday dedicated to romantic love (and if you are, are you really…).   

This, my friend, is your big chance to do some really sweet stuff, for YOU.  You’ve heard it a thousand times, you can’t love anyone in a healthy way if you haven’t learned to love yourself.  And you probably don’t need this disclaimer, but self-love should not be confused with narcissism or chronic self-centered attitudes.  That’s not love, that’s abuse.


The first step in displaying self-love is taking inventory of what you have and what you have become.  Take a moment to absorb it.  I don’t mean just tick off a list and move on.  I mean, remember what it took to get it – or get there.  The smallest things count.  Don’t even take that cup of coffee for granted.  Every little thing in your life helps to create the whole of it.  Gift yourself the time to take it all in, be grateful and remember who you are.


In general, women are very good at giving (of course we all know exceptions).  We give to our significant others, to lovers, to our children, our grandchildren, our extended family… This act of service to others we love, is not necessarily a negative thing.  In fact , its quite beautiful – as long as it doesn’t handicap us or handicap others.  Neither should all this generosity exclude us.  Giving to yourself time, patience, compassion – is just as important.


One Vee Day, if you’re out and about and you see a couple holding hands or locking eyes and speaking words that only they can hear, don’t gag or act disgusted.  Not even to squeeze a laugh from others.  Turn up your inner grace and be happy for them.  If you’re unhappy at the sight of the happiness of others, then, as Rachel Hollis said in her book, Girl, Wash Your Face, “...that’s on you.”  You need to find your own path to happiness.

It’s time to stop being timid.  Do something special for self – almost like you were someone else.  Someone you love – deeply.  Maybe you’d like to go out to dinner; have a Champaign bubble bath (I mean a bubble bath with a glass of Champaign, not a bathtub filled with Champaign with you in it… or, who knows, maybe that’s what you like…); or it might be as simple as relaxing for the evening with a cup of tea and your favorite book  - with your phone off!

It’s important that we become comfortable with ourselves.  Get to like ourselves.  Learn to love and show love to ourselves.  Is there a reason couples should have all the fun?  Find your sweet spot and make yourself smile.  You’re so, so, sooooo worth it.